Song

I listen here only to all of those songs that C thought I'd never listen to. I listen repeatedly and spend my empty mornings, airy afternoons and leaden nights thinking of all I have betrayed in my pursuit of the unknown, my stubborn desire to push myself far far far, only to see how far I can go.

Thinking of all that I have betrayed. Cat babies, friend, friend, father, a new home, books collected over the years, over changing tastes, a volatile-adoring teacher-boss-friend, a university campus thought of so often in the rain, friend, ma, a ceramic tiled study table, the money plant strand in the mayonnaise bottle in the black bathroom, a half finished bottle of vodka, and the glasses from that night left unwashed by the sink, a promise to watch Bommarillu, a blue car broken down to a skeleton, yet one that purrs when I take the wheel, sitting in my pajamas every morning opening the newspaper last page first for all the cricket gossip...

I listen over and over. And over.

Na yeh chand hoga, na taare rahenge
Magar hum hamesha tumhaare rahenge

...wake me up
when September ends...